A guide to gaslighting
Gaslighting might be the silent killer of women's agency, but it's time to turn up the volume by exploring the origins, tactics, and devastating effects of this manipulative technique.
BY VICKY SIDLER
If there’s a word that has become all the rage these days, it’s “gaslighting.” Even though the term has been part of the English dictionary for several years, it is only recently that it has reached notoriety and started seeing extended usage in our vernacular. In clinical and therapeutic settings, gaslighting refers to a particular form of psychological manipulation. Some have probably heard of the word once or twice but not exactly sure of its meaning, much less its origins. Its dynamics, however, are all too familiar.
Today, many psychologists cite gaslighting as a form of abuse in relationships. However, the word extends beyond that, and encompasses a broader context of questioning and invalidating one’s experiences. Even though this word has seen a notable upsurge in our modern era, it’s also true that many people are erroneously using it to describe any form of typical disagreement.
Let’s explore its roots to help dispel doubts about using this word correctly and understand how dangerous it can be to women in the workplace.
The origin - Made in the movies
Gaslighting is the subjective experience of having one’s beliefs questioned and invalidated by an authoritative figure. It’s the process of inducing a person to question their own sanity with deliberate psychological manipulation. In other words, and more colloquially said, it’s when others try to drive you insane with deceit.
Perhaps not so surprisingly, the term comes from a 1938 British thriller play called Gas Light. This play spawned a British movie of the same name in 1940, and later in 1944, an American movie with the title Gaslight (now one word) starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. Most people point to this well-known Hollywood film as a reference point for the word. Interestingly enough, the term “gaslighting” never appears in the movie in any context.
That said, one only needs to see the misogyny in the film to be familiar with how gaslighting works. In the movie, Ingrid Bergman plays a sweet young woman named Paula. She inherits a London-based home from her aunt when she returns from Italy to live alongside her husband, Gregory (played by Charles Boyer). Soon after settling into their new home, strange things begin to occur. Paula starts hearing knocking on the walls at night, items disappear, and the titular gas lighting of their home oddly dims and brightens.
During the screenplay, the audience quickly realizes Gregory is behind all the strange happenings in their home. During the film, Charles Boyer’s character intentionally uses the gaslight to try to drive his wife crazy. When Paula asks Gregory why the lights are flickering, he denies the event and says it’s all happening inside Paula’s head. Paula’s sense of self slowly erodes throughout the movie as her husband convinces her she’s becoming forgetful and imagining things.
Paula (Ingrid Bergman) and Gregory (Charles Boyer) in Gaslight (1944)
Gaslighting throughout the years
The film was a success during its heyday, although the boom of the word gaslighting didn’t exactly start there. It did, however, help to cement the notion of how a manipulative person can lie with so much confidence as to make another question their own sanity. The term emerged in psychological research in the ’50s and ’60s. During the ’70s, it found a place in the psychoanalytic field to describe intentional attempts from someone to manipulate a victim’s perception.
It wasn’t until the ’80s when the term began to appear in academic journals to talk about gender power dynamics, as featured in the film and original play. Although occasionally used in clinical settings, the APA regards its usage in a more general, colloquial environment. Likewise, it’s not officially related to a psychiatric or mental health condition, regardless of its impact on a victim.
The first instance of the gerund gaslighting comes from a column in The New York Times by Maureen Dowd, published in 1995. But, it’s fair to say that the term remained obscure and esoteric until the mid-2010s. Around that time, it became popular in a much broader context after Donald Trump became the “gaslighter-in-chief.” Political jokes aside, the past few years have seen the word seep firmly into the English lexicon. It became Word of the Year (or runner-up for that title) for many well-known and respected English dictionaries in very recent times.
Beware of the Martha Mitchell Effect
This gaslighting dynamic can occur not only in personal relationships but in workplace relationships as well. Due to how deeply entrenched certain preconceived notions are about how women should behave in our culture, it’s not difficult to imagine how common gaslighting can be in the workplace. Typically, it takes place when there’s an unequal power dynamic or when the gaslighted has shown respect to the gaslighter.
A good example of this at work is in the form of sexual harassment or inappropriate behaviour. If you have found yourself in a scenario where your boss doubts your seriousness in denouncing a co-worker’s inappropriate comments, you’ve been gaslighted. This invalidation has accompanied women and feminism throughout humanity’s long history of misogyny, patriarchy, and sexism.
There’s no better example of this than Martha Mitchell’s case. She was the wife of U.S. General Attorney John Mitchell during the Nixon presidency. She faced extreme gaslighting and slander in her efforts to expose the president and other senior White House officials before the Watergate corruption scandal occurred. Mitchell was aware of the crimes perpetrated against the American people by their own high-level officials, but instead of staying quiet, she spoke about it widely.
Needless to say, Nixon and crew weren’t big fans of Martha’s behaviour. This “insolence” led the White House to try everything in its power to silence and accost her – even publicly declaring that she was mentally ill or drunk. What happened next became a chapter for the history books. Martha’s commentary wreaked havoc during the wake of Watergate and brought the corrupt Nixon administration down. The Martha Mitchell Effect was then coined as a way to attribute a mental illness to someone that’s speaking about actual events.
Martha Mitchell gained worldwide recognition for her outspokenness during the Watergate scandal.
To the gaslighted: Share your truth
Gaslighting, abusive behaviour, and gender power dynamics are inextricably linked, yet you can also trace this form of vitriol to race, identity and just about anything a person can be prejudiced against. It thrives on discomfort and on sowing seeds of open discord and confrontation by calling another’s version of reality into question with denial, diminishment, and even accusations of full-blown delusion, as Martha Mitchell experienced.
Finally, be sure not to misuse the word, as doing so can shut down otherwise productive, healthy conversations. Disagreement is not the same as shutting down and denying someone else’s experience. Having debates and sharing different perspectives go a long way toward validating everyone’s experiences. Remember that identifying actual gaslighting is crucial to negate its harmful, antagonistic effect. This way, we will enhance not only the qualities of both our personal and workplace relationships but also our own well-being. DEFY
Vicky Sidler
Vicky Sidler is a South African journalist, editor and content marketing writer. Her work has been featured in Forbes and Yahoo Finan